The Honest Company founder shares daughters Honor, 13, and Haven, 9½, and son Hayes, 3½, with husband Cash Warren. In the new episode of Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt’s Instagram series Before, During & After Baby, Alba, 40, shared about making sure each of her three kids feels seen as individuals.
Alba says “How I think I was raised, or sort of the dynamics of how children were treated when I was growing up, and even my parents, was, you know, the kids basically speak when they’re spoken to, they have the ‘kid table’ whenever there’s a family gathering, and you just sort of stay out of the way and do what you’re told.”
The mom of three continued, “I think this new way of parenting is like, [kids] want to be seen and heard as individuals basically as soon as they start having any kind of consciousness or thoughts or opinions. It starts early. I take the approach of making sure they understand boundaries and respect but trying to see them each individually and meet them where they are.”
Alba also revealed that she started going to mother-daughter therapy with her eldest daughter two years ago to sort out communication barriers.
The actress says, “Like my 13-year-old, I’m struggling with not treating her like a little [kid]— I want to treat them all like babies. I want to baby them. Still, my tendency is to parent them as if they are little. I started going to therapy with her I think when she was 11. For me it was really out of, I felt like my relationship really suffered with my parents because they didn’t know how to communicate with me and how I needed to be parented. So I didn’t want that breakdown with Honor so we went to therapy together.”
Alba also revealed that her therapist suggested carving out 30 minutes a week to spend individually with each kid and they will choose what they get to do together with their mum. She said they schedule the undivided attention “so that they’re looking forward to it.”